Sunday evening reflection – December 18, 2016
I feel as if a whirlwind is still circling around me.
I was at a chocolate Chanukah party this evening with a friend of mine at synagogue. The women were kind, and the chocolate was a little too sweet, but fun. As we were leaving, a friend asked if I could volunteer to help out with a project. I know she was disappointed in me when I said no. I know she felt I must be able to spare the time.
I don’t like disappointing people.
I also don’t like feeling overwhelmed by all the other commitments I have. Some voluntary, some required – all of them feel necessary to me.
The last few weeks have been overwhelming.
The semester for the college courses I teach has ended this past week. The grades have been finalized and posted. Teaching is a joy and a privilege to me. I am so grateful to have a job that I feel is making a positive difference in other people’s lives.
I have several close friends who have been going through difficulties over the last month. I do my best to help out whenever I can, from picking up children and adults who can’t drive to making meals.
Friday was a flurry of driving my children and helping out others, to having to find someone to help out us when my husband needed a ride to urgent care. Thankfully, our neighbor was able to help as I was across town and couldn’t get home in time. Also, thankfully, my husband didn’t lose the use of his eye, due to an untimely accident.
Saturday, we found out a dear friend of ours had died. He had been fighting cancer for more than a year. We visited his wife and son today. We will see more of them this week as well. They are lovely people going through a difficult time. We hope to be of comfort to them during this time.
I know that my friend from synagogue was disappointed in me for not giving to her cause. I cannot give to every cause. Nor am I willing to try.
I know that sometimes I find judgement to come so easily. I assume that if someone is not willing to give time or effort to my cause that the person does not care, or has other priorities which I consider unimportant.
During this holiday season, whenever you think of assuming that someone else’s life is easier than yours, step back and think again.
You do not know what else is going on in someone else’s life. I know that there are times when I wish to slow down this rapid pace of life, and take a deep breath.
I am grateful for my friends and my family. I am grateful for my job and my ability to volunteer whenever I can to help out my children’s school, our family, our friends, our community.
I give with my skills, my time, my heart, my soul. I am glad to do so.
Be gentle with yourself, and be gentle with others this holiday season.
Good night —