Mother, Daughter, Perspective

July 12, 2014

I was born a daughter to my parents, I am a mother to my children. Both are part of what makes up who I am.

My son told me about a dream he had the other night. He was waiting for my dad to pick him up from school, (which is unusual, but happens occasionally), when my mother walked down the hall. He told me he was astonished to see her (as she passed away last summer), and he gave her hug.

My son has grown a lot in the last year. I asked him how tall he was when he hugged her. He told me he was up to her eyes, which is the height he would be on her today, not a year ago. He told me she looked the same as she had a year ago.

When I’ve seen my mother in my dreams, she is younger, which is how I remember her.

She is still around me during the day, in things that I do, in things that I say. I remember her responses to me when I was an older child, and I find myself saying similar things to my children, in similar circumstances. I understand the responses better now that I am on the other side, and I sometimes try to explain to my children why I am frustrated with certain actions and reactions.

I strive to have my children grow up to be contributing members of society, to be kind and considerate, to accomplish what needs to be done as well as what they want to be done. To treat others, as well as themselves, with respect – adults as well as peers.

My son is at that age, that some of us still live in, of wanting the privileges which come with greater responsibility, yet unsure of wearing that mantle of the greater responsibility, and of hoping to convince someone else to do things for him.

He has a school trip coming up early next spring in which he will travel to another country. I have been pointing out to him when he goes to a friend’s house that if he chooses to eat poorly or forget to pack his clothes for the next day, those are his choices, and he has to live with them. (He did, in fact, forget his clothes once on a sleepover. No, I did not bring him a change of clothes; nor, did he ask me to.)

On his school trip, he will be away from home for a little over a week. I am pleased to see that he has been considering his choices a little more carefully recently. I hope it continues.